im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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