the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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