the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
