I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
