there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
