she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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