I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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