ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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