she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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