They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
