he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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