i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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