Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
