Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
