oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
