I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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