What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
