Heybabeimwearingurpanties
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
