In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
