i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
