Only a mothe r could love this liver
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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