I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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