I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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