What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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