I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
