I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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