but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
