This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
