whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize