I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
