fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
