Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
