Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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