No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
