Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
