Too much gin, very little bucket
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
