sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
