I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
