my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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