You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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