If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sobbing to NWA
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
