ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
