will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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