he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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