Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
as a side note pls kill me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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