Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
