If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You pole danced in your parka.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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