I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
