i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
