Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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