Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize