You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
