theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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