He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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