I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My vagina just recognized that song.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
