I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
