i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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