Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize