he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
