please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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