Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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