You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
