One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
