I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
