We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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