I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize